


Le Dejeuner du Matin

by Thatsarcasticidiot



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, No Fluff, Oneshot, Sad Ending, Soonhoon - Freeform, aka my otp, drabble??, i still don't know how to tag, im sorry, inspired by a French poem, plz read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 20:01:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14003613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatsarcasticidiot/pseuds/Thatsarcasticidiot
Summary: Soonyoung was so willing to fight for him, but Jihoon just let him go.





	Le Dejeuner du Matin

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii!! This fix was inspired by a poem that we looked at in one of my French classes about a year ago called "Le Dejeuner du Matin" by Jacques Prevert, enjoy!
> 
> I just wasn't feeling very inspired to write recently, so I just needed something to get me back into it, I'm not too happy with this though :(
> 
> Oh and plz listen to Blue Side by J-hope and Baby Don't Cry by EXO while reading to get the full experience, and just in case you'd like to know, Let Me by Got7 was the calming music being played in the café.

He had definitely seen him, but he was just busy, wasn't he?

Jihoon had been sat stationary at this café for the past ten minutes, just watching Soonyoung, hoping for some sort of interaction. There was no luck for Jihoon however, as although Soonyoung was aware of Jihoon's presence in the café, he made no move to show he even cared.

Soonyoung had walked in about five minutes earlier and soon began his usual routine that took place every Wednesday, at nine o'clock in the morning.

The exact time that Jihoon arrived.

He knew Soonyoung's entire schedule and knew that he came here every week just to de-stress. Jihoon could see why; the small café reflected everything Soonyoung adored, from bright colours, to calming music and cute decorations.

Everything that Jihoon hated, he preferred darkness to light, and cuteness was the bane of his existence, but somehow, he also grew to love this place, and he wondered how he and Soonyoung, who were worlds apart, managed to create one of their own.

He watched Soonyoung remove his coat, remembering all the times he shrouded him with it, just so that Jihoon wouldn't get sick from the cold. How disgustingly cliché, but Jihoon still missed it dearly.

He watched Soonyoung make his coffee; he always preferred to make it himself for some odd reason, though he was at a café.

-  
 _Jihoon could hear Soonyoung coming up the steps to their dorm, he didn't want to see him, it was all his fault._  
-

Jihoon observed as Soonyoung added the milk to the coffee, the colour turning the coffee a light shade of brown, similar to the shade of Soonyoung's hair.

That reminded Jihoon of all the times they would stay up late into the night, drinking milk and hot chocolate, talking about purely nothing, but everything at the same time.

-

_He could feel Soonyoung trying to embrace him, he didn't want that, he just wanted him to leave._

-

He then added the sugar, as per usual. Jihoon remembered how Soonyoung always had a sweet tooth, eventually influencing Jihoon too, no matter how much he tried to claim that he hated sweets.

Stirring it with a small spoon, he looked up, right into Jihoon's eyes, but there was no change in expression, no recognition, and he looked away.

-

_"They shouldn't have done that, they're just horrible people," Jihoon didn't want to hear that, "Look at me Jihoon."_

_Jihoon didn't look._

-

He lifted the coffee to his lips, and drank slowly, not before waiting for it to cool; Soonyoung never rushed anything, even when he was late,

"No one is chasing me and I'm not about to die, so why should I rush?" He often said when Jihoon asked him to hurry up.

He put the coffee down, once he was finished, and the whole time, not one word was spoken to Jihoon.

-

_"I'm trying to comfort you here, why are you ignoring me?"_

-

Soonyoung then pulled out a packet, one that was only ever seen when he was stressed, and retrieved a cigarette from the said packet, he lit it and the flame burned orange and bright but was flicked of in a matter of seconds.

Jihoon had the urge to scold him, like he has done so many times in the past, but he couldn't, and that hurt him more than he would like to admit.

 

-

_Jihoon wondered how Soonyoung found out what happened, he was in his linguistics class, Jihoon hated how he knew him so well._

-

Soonyoung lit the cigarette and made rings with the smoke, silvery and wispy, almost dreamlike. The smoke dissipated into the air, and it reminded Jihoon of all the times he would scold Soonyoung for smoking indoors, though he didn't do it often.

Jihoon just wanted to talk to Soonyoung, that's the entire reason why he even showed up to the café, but it seemed that all he was doing was opening up barely healed wounds.

-

_"Look Jihoonie, we can work through this, don't leave me behind." Soonyoung was pleading, and it would have been tearing Jihoons heart to bits if he weren't so angry._

-

Shaking off the ash into the nearby tray, Soonyoung leaned back into his chair, relaxing, and all the tension finally leaving his face as he closed his eyes.

Jihoon thought back to all the nights they shared together, how clingy Soonyoung was even when he was asleep. They had often laid awake in bed on weekends, talking about the future and what their wedding would be like.

He still did not speak a single word to Jihoon.  
-

_Deep down, Jihoon knew that Soonyoung wasn't the one to be angry at, that he didn't do anything wrong, but it was so easy to let his anger target Soonyoung._

-

After just sitting there, Soonyoung eventually got up, and Jihoon knew that as soon as Soonyoung walks out of the building, whatever they shared would be over, all of their moments together, their memories, their life together.

Jihoon couldn't let that happen, but time seemed to be ticking faster and Jihoon was so powerless that he couldn't even rise from the table he was stationed at. Soonyoung left his bill on the table, and tucked his chair in.

He was always so polite.

-

_"Jihoon please"_

-

That beanie, the one that Jihoon gave him on his seventeenth birthday, he put it on, not before looking at Jihoon, definitely aware of the pain Jihoon was experiencing just by the sight of his hat.

He bought it for him after getting tired of Soonyoung forever complaining about how his ears were cold. Soonyoung still wore it, and that surprised Jihoon, but then he figured that Soonyoung probably didn't even register that the hat was linked to Jihoon in any way.

-

_"I love you"_

-

Feeding his arm the sleeve of his raincoat, Soonyoung prepared to leave, thanking the waitress by her name; he came here so often that he was aquatinted with pretty much the entire staff team.

Jihoon always admired Soonyoung's ability to make friends so effortlessly, while it took himself a great deal of time to even begin to open up.

The rain was plummeting down even harder now, and Jihoon had to walk home, since he no longer had Soonyoung to drive him home, he dreaded it, but he dreaded having to live without Soonyoung even more.

-

_"Get out."_

-

Jihoon just watched as Soonyoung walked towards the door, and he felt himself breaking apart.

Memories kept crashing and burning in his head, the feeling of just wanting to hold Soonyoung becoming overwhelming, and yet, he still couldn't just call out to him.

Jihoon wishes he wasn't such a dick, he wishes his pride wasn't so large, he wishes that he was a better person, he wishes that he could make Soonyoung love him again.

But he can't.

He guesses this is what heartbreak feels like, he can't believe he put Soonyoung through this.

Soonyoung nears the door, and the feeling of being asphyxiated becomes stronger, he grabs the handle and just like that, Soonyoung is gone, the only thing that showed he was even there was just a burnt out cigarette.

-

_"Maybe they wouldn't have beaten my sister up if I wasn't dating you!"'_

_"I see, so it's my fault. Just so you know, I was the one who nearly got arrested giving those homophobic assholes a taste of their own medicine."_

_Soonyoung got up, and Jihoon heard the door slam shut._

-

Soonyoung did not even spare him a glance as he left, and Jihoon was crushed, he felt insignificant, easily replaced.

Soonyoung was gone now and Jihoon was filled with regret, regret for what he had said that day, and regret for not seizing his chance when he could have.

Jihoon knew he fucked up; Soonyoung never ignored his presence. Ever.

 

-

_Jihoon wanted him to come back, but his pride wouldn't let him speak, it was constricting him, forcing the air out of his lungs._

-

Emotion finally took over as he laid his head in the hands, and let tears escape.

He was so, so stupid.

-

_Soonyoung was so willing to fight for him, but Jihoon just let him go._


End file.
